suicide direction part I

He seats in his cubicle, staring at the computer screen. His gaze far reaching into the oblivion and beyond. The screen displayed the half finished report. His hand on the keyboard is writing gibberish. Somewhere in his mind, he got lost. Or stuck. Possibly both.

"This train of thought is going nowhere," he said to himself. Little did he know that he is no longer the master of his thoughts, and the 'train' now is taking him everywhere. He is going for a joy ride. Or sorrow ride. Possibly both.

The matter is, you are what you are made of inside. Inside, he is hollow. Now he is nothing more than part of the system. Or slave. Possibly both.

His soul lies somewhere in the passage of time. Back during the day when he was happily spending time in the cyber cafe, shooting off terrorist. Or counter terrorist. Possiby both.

No regret. No problem. But he was satisfied. Or contented. Possibly both.

He is tired. He just want to sleep. Or die. Possibly both.

On the positive note, maybe he just wish that his old self dead. Because nobody want to die, right?Or living his life soulless. Definitely, both.

*it's 530 already, so good to be going home to the one dear to you ;)

emosi

Saban hari aku merenung diri dan sekeliling. Persekitaranku tak banyak berubah, tak seiring dengan beralihnya waktu. Ruangku beku, kaku, membatu. Aku tersekat di tempat ku berdiri. Masa depan dan masa lalu terhenti seketika disaat ini, mengkirakan kemana arah tujuan seterusnya.

Aku bosan sebenarnya. Bosan dan malas. Adakah itu sesuatu yang buruk. Aku tak ingin lagi cuba merubah diriku menjadi rajin, mengikut pandangan majoriti. Perubahannya tak akan kekal. Ahh! Bosan. Bosan. Bosan. Jalan hidup yang mendatar membuatku mengantuk. Kukira ku boleh tidur dari Jumaat ke Ahad.

Aku bukanlah seorang adventur tapi entah kenapa aku rasa resah. Ada sesuatu yang meragut passion ku. Terasa berat kaki ini untuk melangkah seolah diikat bebola besi. Kedengaran seperti omongan kosong. Biarlah, aku juga perlukan ruang ekspresi.

Sistem meragut impianku. Fikiranku dibatasi normaliti. Kehendak duniawai mengatasi keperluan rohani. Free choice is an illusion. More and more we are succumbing to the system. Semakin hari kita semakin sama. Pilihanku dibentuk kehendak sekeliling. Tindakanku diatur keadaan semasa. Fikiranku mengikut media massa. Aku...hanyalah interpretasi kepada normaliti ruang dan masa sekarang.

Aku yang hakiki hanya wujud didalam mimpi. Mungkin sebab itu aku suka tidur.

d.r.i.v.e

i drove with the window down
feels the wind brushing on my face
my hand holding a cig'
i just don't give a damn

it's just the feeling u love the most
when you are traveling from A to B
anything in between just don't matter
a moment cut out from your life

you had a chat inside your mind
seeing your life from outside the line
your dreams stretched with the road in front
that takes you where ever you want

it comes to an abrupt end
when u finally reach your destination
later, my friend
as u turn the key and stop the ignition.