Dog chasing tail

Image taken from google.

I really hate this kind of situation. You keep doing the same thing thinking you're progressing but actually you are going nowhere.

It's like same chocolate with different wrapper.

I heard the phrase 'same shit different day' back in my school time but nowaday it is like 'same shit everyday'.

My mind getting numb trying to digest and internalize all the craps that is being fed. How I wish I can walk out the door and tell goodbye to the system which I was getting embedded in deeper and deeper by day.

There is so much to life and I don't want to spend my life and realize it until too late that there is so much to life other than waking up early go to work eat sleep make love told to be grateful and delaying your gratification, saying to yourself it's not for you while everyone else is taking what they want.

This morning I saw the new S-Class (S500 to be exact). I reproduce it here for the benefit of ones who don't have any idea how it looks.

What a lovely piece of sheet metal (image for google).

And how rich we Malaysian can be (I was driving in Telok Panglima Garang some more, not some high income tycoon area).

If you see that one pass you by, what will you think? Can you ever have it (if you want it)? And if not why?

And what is that that is stopping you? It always puzzles me when people want something but they never work for it (or do things that will lead them to it).

That don't want to be salaried worker but they kept increase their spending, no investing, don't want to learn business, etc2 things that can make them free. But they clamor for the idea of not working. In the end they work for their entire life and before they know it is already too late...

The gift of life

I never know it will be on this day when i woke up this morning. Nor do I know it when i drove to work, or attending the Friday prayer. Not a hunch, neither do it ever cross my mind.

But it happens when it happens...

Those two lines...though static, is...something. It tells you something. It tells you of things to come.  Who you will become. In instance it divide your life into two...prior and after you've seen it.

I know I've to change. Things won't be the same and I shouldn't be. 

To my dear wife, thank you..for everything and we'll go through this journey together, hand in hand and step by step.

Am I happy? Or suprised? I don't know now...I'm just grateful to be given this gift of life. Alhamdulillah and may everything is blessed...

suicide direction part I

He seats in his cubicle, staring at the computer screen. His gaze far reaching into the oblivion and beyond. The screen displayed the half finished report. His hand on the keyboard is writing gibberish. Somewhere in his mind, he got lost. Or stuck. Possibly both.

"This train of thought is going nowhere," he said to himself. Little did he know that he is no longer the master of his thoughts, and the 'train' now is taking him everywhere. He is going for a joy ride. Or sorrow ride. Possibly both.

The matter is, you are what you are made of inside. Inside, he is hollow. Now he is nothing more than part of the system. Or slave. Possibly both.

His soul lies somewhere in the passage of time. Back during the day when he was happily spending time in the cyber cafe, shooting off terrorist. Or counter terrorist. Possiby both.

No regret. No problem. But he was satisfied. Or contented. Possibly both.

He is tired. He just want to sleep. Or die. Possibly both.

On the positive note, maybe he just wish that his old self dead. Because nobody want to die, right?Or living his life soulless. Definitely, both.

*it's 530 already, so good to be going home to the one dear to you ;)

48 odd hours into 2013

I'm at kulai town today for works. two nursery visits; one for the audit and the other one for culling. i traveled yesterday from carey island about noon, arrived at kulaijaya exit about 330 pm and then got lost a bit in the small town of kulai to find kulai (obviously) estate.

during the search, i drove all the way to ioi mall (the other ioi mall) and into some sort of upmarket residential area. guess in kulai the real estate is not that bad though. saw this one ads for terraced house 18x70 selling for 182K. not bad.

finally reached estate nearing 430 but the sky is already dark. in fact it's raining cats and dogs by the time i left. the nursery is in kelan division which is quite interior with a small road leading to the AP post. the road is quite bad; in fact i checked with the assistant to be certain on the road.

My drove down here is so so. I drove a little bit worn out hilux...basically due to heavy usage but insufficient care. but anyway it served its purpose.

i stayed in this d'sayang hotel...not the most luxurious but this is kulai...the room a bit like banting's garden hotel. its new, the mattress still firm though. the rate is 88-special offer. and its beside tesco.

got a ktv at the top floor...the sound could be heard in my room till late. hotel guest got a 30% discount voucher. too bad i'm not in the mood for some vocal workout.

tomorrow morning i'll leave for seri pulai estate for the final culling...about < 10k seedlings to be assessed. -yawn-. anyway i'll jump into other car tomorrow, a ford ranger. the job won't be too long i supposed; should be back by noon.

so that's it..travelling on the first day of 2013. sure'll be many more to come for this year.

as of today

tonight i'm gonna whine.

2 reports pending. secretary for meeting tomorrow. house on construction-no electricity and water yet. current rent house-stuff still not packed. grasses in the lawn seems to be taller by inches a day. back lawn looks like avatar's shooting area (extra size banana tree anyone?). i saw spider much like tarantula last 2-3 days in the house. still not bought the stove, fridge, washing machine etc yet.

wedding card still not completed. my ring not finished. my suit not finished. just got glass bowl for the door gift. kuantan-banting-muar-banting-kluang-nilai-banting in 4 days. hm...what else ya...

marking for student papers still not finished. extra one report for yesterday visit. data migration for 7 estates not completed. Mplan coming. trial still not kicked off. furniture for the house. photographer during the wedding.

sometime i feel exhausted. but i kinda like it. have something to do and not doing it is much better feeling than have nothing to do. just like how u slept in the dorm when there's class during college years is more satisfying then when u actually have no class.

but...if ever u feel stuck with the stuff, before u start blaming everything under the sun, take a step back and see what's going on. shit happens only if u allow it. all the issue roots from yourself.

freedom to think

I've just checking some of the political blogs that i frequented; chedet, rockybru, helen ang, jebat must die, outsyed the box...to name a few. they're somehow more leaned to BN. lot of issues i read...the best part is checking on the comments posted by their dear readers.

for chedet, which is Tun Dr. Mahathir's blog, you can see that we Malaysians are so full of intellectual (pun intended). haha. quite a heaty discussion there among the regulars...and i can't help but to feel that they somehow want to show how knowledgeable they are with the facts, figures, suggestions, debate etc...i wonder if Tun ever read the comments. anyway Tun's pieces is thought provoking and simple enough to deliver his message.

another highlight is at helen ang's blog. i quite enjoyed reading her material considering the simple writing style and interesting takes on issues highlighted. recently she seems to be bashing DAP quite frequently...giving me some food for thoughts. and on his comments, it's interesting that whenever she wrote something quite unfavorable about DAP, some nasty and abusive comments surely will come out.

i don't know if this is how they run politics nowadays. not that i'm old, but i always believe the adage that how you act; the way  you talk, your words, your writing etc shows what you're inside. and seeing the comments...make me sick to think that this is our voters. harsh words, abusive remarks are aplenty. more interesting comments are in Malaysia Kini...gone are the days of sopan santun and wisdom in words. foul words instead are in abundance.

some comments are far from being constructive. some are downward humiliating. i don't know what kind of sick people who wrote those stuff. i don't even have a heart to read...and these are our fellow Malaysian. at least if you want to take a man down and put your idolised leader up, might as well do it in style.

L.a.z.i.n.e.

15th March 2012.1455.At the office.
I'm too lazy to finish the title.


Why do today what you can do tomorrow?

Tomorrow is where all your spirits are, where all your dreams reigned, where you will become a better man, eat more veggies, stop smoking and stop taking sugar, stop surfing the net during office hour...start saving your money, where all your motivation stored...and as of today just enjoy your sweet time cause you know you'll be a changed men tomorrow.

Except that when you wake up tomorrow's morning it's today again...ha.

"U mad, bro?"